Kindness isn’t a Debt

Photo by Bekky Bekks on Unsplash

Most of us are taught from a young age to be kind to others. I feel like the sad thing is we’re taught why since children always ask “why?” after each sentence. Some are taught that if you show kindness, it means that the kindness reciprocates back no matter what. These reasons are the flaws. I feel like these reasons are why the world has mistaken what kindness is and turned its back on it.

Kindness isn’t a favor that will come back to you. It’s an action we do just for the sake of it. If you don’t already feel good just doing the act alone, you have mistaken kindness for some sort of debt.

I learned this as I kept expecting something back when I showed people what I thought was kindness, but it really was a debt. Then, I got frustrated when they didn’t really give anything back or do favors for me. For instance, you help someone with a homework assignment, you do it out of kindness and because you saw them struggling. Then, when you’re struggling, you expected them to help you, but they didn’t. Well, you may be frustrated, but they weren’t really indebted to help you, and there is no deal made when you show kindness to another person that they’re automatically going to show it back.

Maybe this is why the world has lost its kindness. So many of us were taught that kindness is a debt, and when we never got our payment back, we stopped showing kindness. We think of everything as debt and payment that we even confused raw human emotions for it.

Another thing is about kindness is that some use a surplus of it, thinking we owe it to the world to be kind. Without the social contract, you really don’t owe anything to the world, not even kindness.

Even if the world continues using kindness as a debt, I will use kindness when I genuinely want to, only as an action guided by raw human emotion, not indebted by the world, or expecting a debt from the world.

--

--

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store